Processing a “No” I Didn’t Expect

 

I’m writing this because I need to get it out of my head.

I applied for a job I wanted so much — Digital Information Technology Asset Manager — and I didn’t get it.

It’s in my own department. I know the systems, the people, the processes. I’ve got the qualifications, the experience, the education. I’ve worked hard for years to be ready for something like this.

And yet… my direct senior manager decided I wasn’t the right person.

That’s the part that stings.

Because if someone who sees my work every day doesn’t think I can do it… what does that mean?

Does it mean they don’t think I’m capable?

That they don’t like me?

That they don’t believe I could do the job well enough?

That I’m not worthy of it?

I keep telling myself it can’t be that. But those thoughts creep in anyway.

I’m proud of my work. I’m proud of the reviews I’ve had from users. I’m proud of the way I’ve handled challenges. I’m not just a “caller responder” — I think strategically, I solve problems, I improve processes. I thought that was exactly what this role needed.

It’s hard not to take it personally.

It’s hard not to feel disappointed and cut off.

But I’m reminding myself:

This “no” doesn’t erase my skills.

It doesn’t erase my worth.

It doesn’t erase the fact that I can do this job — and do it well.

Maybe it wasn’t about me at all. 

Maybe it was about timing, or politics, or a vision I wasn’t part of.

Whatever the reason, I’m still here. I’m still showing up. And I’m not done yet.

If you’ve been here too — if you’ve worked so hard for something and been told no — I see you.

We’ll get our “yes” one day.